Embracing the Whole Self: Recognizing and Overcoming Emotional Bypassing
Understanding Emotional-Spiritual Bypassing
Have you ever found yourself sidestepping difficult emotions, brushing them off, or turning to distractions to avoid facing them head-on? You might be engaging in emotional bypassing—a common habit where we avoid our deeper feelings and unresolved traumas by focusing on more superficial aspects of our lives.
Emotional bypassing can manifest in many ways. It might involve immersing yourself in positive affirmations without addressing underlying pain or seeking spiritual practices to escape emotional discomfort. Often, this behavior stems from a place of self-protection, developed to help us cope with overwhelming emotions or traumas. However, bypassing can hinder genuine healing and personal growth.
My Journey with Emotional-Spiritual Bypassing
For much of my life, I was a master at emotional bypassing. Growing up in an environment marred by alcoholism and generational trauma, I learned early on to suppress my emotions and avoid confronting the harsh realities of my life. This pattern of avoidance became so ingrained that I believed I was "handling" things well, even though I was masking my true feelings.
It wasn't until I received a stage 4 breast cancer diagnosis that I began to understand the depth of my emotional bypassing. The cancer diagnosis was a jarring wake-up call that exposed how I had been avoiding dealing with the significant traumas of my life. I believe the cancer itself was a manifestation of the emotional bypassing I had been practicing for years - all those emotions and traumas I hadn't dealt with.
Through the process of healing from cancer, I started to confront and unpack these long-held traumas. This journey has not only been about addressing the cancer but also about facing the emotional issues that contributed to my condition. As I worked through these issues, I began to handle new challenges more healthily, learning to engage with my emotions rather than bypass them.
The Role of Mindfulness in Addressing Emotional-Spiritual Bypassing
Mindfulness has played a crucial role in my journey toward healing and self-discovery. Practicing mindfulness involves being fully present with our thoughts, emotions, and experiences without judgment. It has helped me recognize and address how I had been bypassing my feelings and emotions.
Here's how mindfulness can aid in overcoming emotional-spiritual bypassing:
Awareness: Mindfulness brings awareness to our emotional state, allowing us to notice when we bypass our feelings. By paying attention to our internal experiences, we can identify patterns of avoidance and work through them.
Acceptance: Mindfulness teaches us to accept our emotions without judgment. Instead of pushing feelings away, we learn to welcome them, recognizing that they are a natural part of our experience. This acceptance helps us move through emotions rather than bypass them.
Compassion: Practicing mindfulness fosters self-compassion, which is essential for addressing deep-seated traumas. By treating ourselves with kindness and understanding, we create a safe space for healing and growth.
Personal Example: Facing Trauma and Healing
An example of how mindfulness and confronting my emotions have impacted my life involves a recent personal loss. My beloved pup, Nugget, who was a source of comfort and support during challenging times, recently passed away. Nugget had been a crucial part of my journey through cancer, and her presence was a constant reminder of love and resilience.
When Nugget passed, I was faced with the painful reality of her absence. My initial impulse was to pack away her belongings—her blankets, beds, toys, and bowls—to avoid confronting the emotional pain. It felt easier to hide these items and pretend I was moving on quickly.
However, I paused and chose a different path. Instead of bypassing my grief, I'm sitting with my emotions and honoring Nugget's memory. I decided to keep her blanket out and allow myself to feel the sadness and love associated with her presence. This act of mindfulness—acknowledging and sitting with my emotions rather than bypassing them—is allowing me to process my grief more fully.
Through this process, I discovered that embracing my emotions rather than bypassing them leads the way to greater emotional stability. I'm feeling less triggered by my feelings and more at peace with the natural flow of my emotional experience. This practice of mindful engagement with my emotions has taught me that it is okay to feel bad and that moving through these feelings can lead to genuine healing and personal growth.
How to Practice Mindfulness to Overcome Emotional-Spiritual Bypassing
If you find yourself engaging in emotional-spiritual bypassing, here are some practical steps to incorporate mindfulness into your life and address your deeper emotions:
Daily Mindfulness Practice: Set aside time each day for mindfulness meditation. This practice helps you become more aware of your thoughts and emotions, allowing you to identify patterns of bypassing and work through them.
Emotional Check-Ins: Regularly check in with yourself to assess how you're feeling. Ask yourself questions like, "What emotions am I experiencing right now?" and "Am I avoiding any particular feelings?" This practice helps you stay connected with your emotional state.
Journaling: Use journaling as a tool for exploring your emotions and identifying patterns of avoidance. Write about your feelings, experiences, and any tendencies to bypass difficult emotions. Journaling can provide insights into areas where you may need to focus your mindfulness efforts.
Self-Compassion: Practice self-compassion by treating yourself with kindness and understanding. Acknowledge that it's okay to feel and experience emotions, even if they are challenging. Self-compassion supports emotional healing and growth.
Join The Mindfulness Spot Weekly Zoom Sessions: If you want to practice mindfulness and overcome emotional-spiritual bypassing, our weekly Zoom sessions are designed just for you. These gatherings provide a space to recharge, reconnect, and transform stress into inspiration. Use these sessions to rediscover your creativity, enhance resilience, and improve your presence with family and clients. Plus, our ever-growing Resources section in the membership area provides tools to help you navigate and move through these moments. Embrace this opportunity to turn life's demands into moments of growth and clarity.
Seek Support: If you find it challenging to confront deep-seated traumas on your own, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor. Professional guidance can help you navigate and address emotional-spiritual bypassing effectively.
Recognizing and addressing emotional-spiritual bypassing is an essential step toward personal growth and healing. By incorporating mindfulness practices into your daily life, you can learn to confront and process your emotions rather than avoid them. This approach leads to greater emotional stability, self-awareness, and a more authentic connection with yourself.
As you embark on this journey, remember that it's okay to feel and experience your emotions fully. Embrace mindfulness as a tool for overcoming emotional-spiritual bypassing, and allow yourself to move through challenges with grace and resilience. Your path to healing and personal growth begins with acknowledging and honoring your true feelings.
About Jen Barber:
With over two decades of experience in personal development, I am a seasoned Guide dedicated to helping individuals navigate their transformative journeys. As a former certified trainer for The Silva Method, I bring a wealth of knowledge and a collection of certifications to my practice. My approach is gentle, yet effective, focusing on uncovering and rewriting core beliefs - those deep-seated narratives that shape our self-image and influence our life's path.
My personal journey includes using the very tools I teach to put stage 4 breast cancer into remission. This profound experience has deepened my commitment to supporting others on their paths to healing and personal evolution. I am now working with clients on a one-to-one basis, have started The Mindfulness Spot a group membership, and have launched a YouTube channel - Expand Your Greatness - to extend my support through guided meditations and visualization techniques.
Ready for transformation? Let’s connect and start mapping out your journey ahead.
